My Brief Story

As a child I had what I would say a fairly normal childhood. My mom was divorced when I was five. My father gave up his rights to brother and I. Then my mom remarried and my step father became our Dad. We never heard from our father again. Then two years later my sister came into that picture when I was 7 and from that point on we were your typical family. Don't get me wrong life wasn't always easy for us growing up and my parents did the best they could to provide us with the best they could. But they did ensure that there was no step this or that. Just family.

Then when I was 17 I had experienced grief and lost for the first time in my life. I lost my grandmother. She was a mentor, a role model for how I wanted to be and someone I adored. That was a tragedy for me. Then 6 months later when I turned 18 my brother and Dad were in a horrific accident. Leaving my brother paralyzed and my Dad with a broken hip and crushed left ankle. Of course they have recovered the best they could but during that emotional time, I really started to get into drugs, partying, being promiscuous, and burning bridges I didn't really need to be burning. But looking back now I see that, that's where my bipolar started to set in. But I ignored it and ignored the people that saw how I was acting. I continued to live my life the way it was. Then one day I woke up and decided that wasn't the way I wanted to live anymore. 

So I joined the Marines. It got me away from the drugs and the people that were feeding my highs and lows. For a little bit it leveled me out. So that thought of me being bipolar went away. 

Then I got married. It was an impulse marriage. Another symptom of bipolar. I noticed that I didn't really love this person I just wanted to feel wanted and had always had the dream of being married. After being married for a year it was nothing less of destructive on both sides. But I can't possible imagine what I was putting him through. But he didn't make it that much easier for me either. 

Then I got pregnant. Things for the both of us continued to go down hill. We did the counseling to try to help us with our problems but it just seemed hopeless. Then I had our beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately we couldn't work out our problems because we really didn't know what was causing them.

After serving out my contract and coming home at 26 I was properly diagnosed with bipolar. At first I was embarrassed to tell anyone. Because that meant all those people before were right and lets face it society isn't to open and friendly about the disorder. 

Now that I look back and look at my life now (after the bipolar medicine) maybe it would've worked out. But who's to really say. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. God gives us challenges to help others. I hope to help anyone in the same situation or close to mine as much as I can.